Angry McNugget Lover Arrested After Ordering 200 Hash Browns
I’ve gotta say, straight up, this is one of the most bogan news stories I’ve ever read. It’s a tale of disappointment, a tale of anger, of lost tempers and, undoubtedly, a tale of regret.
Let’s get the basics out of the way to start with. Some absolute tit from Epping in Sydney has landed himself in hot Mcwater after a night on the Mcpiss.
Just before 5am one Saturday morning (so you know it was a total ball-snorter of a Friday night), the bloody idiot has hit up the drive-through for a good old Mcfeed.
Much to the Mcpisshead’s chagrin, he heard the most annoying words you can hear at any Maccas. “Sorry, bloke, that sh**s on the lunch menu. We’re doing brekkie now. Want some hotcakes?”
Now, old mate was rocking a blood alcohol level of 0.175 so he wasn’t just tipsy, he was abso-f***ing-lutely plastered. Having said that, getting your car through the drive-through in that state is a task in itself, so you know, it’s not all bad.
I’m kidding. It is. He really shouldn’t have been on the road. And his reaction kinda proves it.
“No nuggets,” I imagine him saying. “Fark, come on cobber, it’s not breakfast. I ain’t even finished drinking yet…”
Anyway, long story short: no nuggets.
So what does he do? He gets the sh**s, that’s what. He swears at the poor f***er behind the counter, he revs his engine, he does a f***ing burnout and he drops the clutch, fanging it into the car park.
And then he has a brainwave.
“I’ll show you f***ing breakfast, you dopey c***s,” he slurs to himself. He zooms back around to the drive-through again and he says, “listen you here you Mcf***s. I want 200 hash browns!”
I love that this was his go-to. “You’ve pissed me off now. You’ve left me no choice. I’m gonna eat 200 f***ing hash browns in this car park and it’s gonna be all your fault.”
The kind of self-loathing and misdirected anger it takes to make that decision, I think it’s fair to say the poor b*****d is in a dark, dark place.
It’s just a shame he didn’t get to eat them before the cops breathalysed and arrested him. Now THAT would’ve been a story to tell your grand-kids.
“That’s right little Johnny, I was so pissed I ate every single one of them.”