Chuck Steinway

Chuck, not his real name, is a Brisbane writer and teacher. He writes radio commercials, feature articles, short stories and longer-form fiction. You can read his fiction in Dark Moon Digest 32/33 from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. It's got crocodiles! http://perpetualpublishing.com/product/dark-moon-digest-issue-32-33/

Base jumper makes f*cken epic entrance to rooftop pool party

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G’day, ya legends. How are ya? Hopefully you’re feeling good and not like you wanna tell some prick to go and jump off a building. However, if you’re feeling a bit like giving someone their marching – and plummeting –...

A nutrition coach has destroyed a bunch of ‘healthy’ food myths

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It seems like everywhere you look these days there’s a new diet promising the world. Usually, these diets seem to have some sort of gimmick about them that supposedly makes them ground-breaking, revolutionary, or new....

These things are surprisingly way bigger than you’d expect

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Sometimes it can be hard for us to fully comprehend just how big some sh*t is. After all, for many of us, an awful lot of what we’ve seen when it comes to this sort of thing has been in photographic form. Textbooks, m...

This artist’s painting style perfectly captures what blurry vision is like

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Not to come across like a trendy wanker or anything, but one of the great things about art is that it captures the feelings and experiences of different people and presents them to the world. It’s a pretty f**ken loft...

Brazilian surfer breaks world record with f*cken monster wave

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When it comes to surfing, there’s nothing quite as awe-inspiring as one gnarly dude or one bodacious babe catching a f**ken tidal wave and gliding across it like a bloody boss. In an incredible feat, Brazilian surfer,...

Angry Dad belts a bloke for f**king on the local cricket pitch after refusing to stop

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Young love is a thing of beauty. Those first tender feelings, that sneaky kiss you steal inside the cinema, that cheeky root you score on the local cricket pitch… Of course, not everyone’s happy when you slip one insi...

Guy turns up to a vegan festival to eat raw veal heart

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OK, so it’s no secret vegans cop a bad rap in many, many places. While they’re genuinely trying to do something to help the environment, mates and family can get tired of 'em talking about their veganism round the clo...

Mum uses mysterious beautiful fragrant “lump” in bathroom, then learns horrifying origins

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om Finds Mysterious Fragrant Lump In Her Bathroom, Then Realizes Something HORRIFYING Kids are f**ken gross, it’s not a secret. Whether they’re booger-eating little ferals, bratty little snot-faces or big acne-scar...

Parrot tells fire fighters to f**k off during rooftop rescue attempt

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You know, for all the cheeky, belligerent and angry animals we invite onto Ozzy Man Reviews, we really don’t see enough parrots. And that kinda sucks. Parrots are f**ken awesome. Not only are they gorgeous little bugg...

Selfie row ends in f*cken Trevi Fountain brawl

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Ah, Rome, a city built on the backs of two brothers fighting to the death, an empire built on the violence and bloodshed of warfare and invasion. With history like that, the violence runs deep and Mars the war god sti...

University experiment accidentally gave students caffeine dose equal to 300 coffees

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Caffeine has become such a big part of the average person’s lifestyle that we don’t even think of it as a ‘drug’ in the traditional sense. Sure, you might not function with much pep before you’ve had your morning coff...

Chuck-E Cheese employees buy presents for kid after no one shows up to his birthday party

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G’day blokes and blokettes, how are you all? Bloody good, I hope. And even if you’re not, you’re probably feeling a bit better than the four-year-old little bugger who invited thirty people to his birthday party and h...

Fake power outlet stickers exist and are f*cken evil!

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If you’ve ever travelled long distance – or even reasonably short distance – you know how stressful it can be to have a rapidly dwindling phone, tablet or laptop battery. In those moments an unused power point can fee...

Some lucky bastards who survived lightning strikes have shown what it does to your skin

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F**k me dead, lightning is one of those forces of nature that you just shouldn’t be playing with. It’s like five times hotter than the sun, it’s full of electricity, it comes down from the sky like the hammer of f**ke...

This awesome “Work it” karaoke performance was shared by Missy Elliott herself

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You know as well as we do that karaoke performances can go a couple of different ways. It’s worth mentioning to start with that skill – and the actual ability to sing – isn’t necessarily the only thing that defines a ...