Chuck Steinway

Chuck, not his real name, is a Brisbane writer and teacher. He writes radio commercials, feature articles, short stories and longer-form fiction. You can read his fiction in Dark Moon Digest 32/33 from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. It's got crocodiles! http://perpetualpublishing.com/product/dark-moon-digest-issue-32-33/

Monkey steals a bike, fends off a dog and rides off like a f*cken boss

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Riding a bike is one of those things that everyone has to learn. It’s also one of the things that you really shouldn’t forget. But how would you manage riding your pushy around a tiny little area while an annoying-as-...

Bloke reported by woman as burglar turns out to be lazy husband

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Those of you who are married or partnered up will know how hard it can be to find somewhere between 5 minutes and 8 hours of free time to play video games. For reasons that are hard to discern, some wives just don’t l...

Worms frozen in permafrost for over 40,000 years brought back to life by scientists

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G’day ladies and gents, how ya doing today? If you’ve ever woken up after a really bloody long sleep and felt a bit groggy, spare a thought for two Russian nematodes revived by scientists in Moscow. They’ve been broug...

Biker brilliantly confronts SUV driver who tries to cut traffic

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Ladies and wankers, if you need any more proof that drivers these days are getting more entitled, more likely to take risks, and less likely to give a f**k, you only need to watch this video. Thankfully, there are som...

Nerdy kid beats the sh*t out of shirtless “tough guy”

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It’s that time again, blokes and blokettes. Grab your popcorn, grab your beverage, and settle the f**k down. It is fight night, and we’ve got two proper contenders for you in tonight’s edition of the show. In the firs...

These ‘Days Without Sex’ memes sum up not getting laid perfectly

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Whether you’ve pissed off the misso, have a face like a bag of marbles, or just keep getting friend-zoned, there’s a good chance you know what it’s like to have a dry spell when it comes to dipping your wick, planting...

Queen’s guard shoves the sh*t out of sheila in his way

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Making fun of the Queen’s Guard is pretty much a standard comedy routine. After all, they’re nice harmless cosplayers who are basically the human version of the traditional British phone box. They wear red, they’re st...

Twelve reasons Japanese culture is f*cken awesome

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It's not really a secret that things are done differently in Japan, but there's an awful lot more to Japan than weird porn, used underwear vending machines, sushi and anime. Behind the stuff we know about is a culture...

Man hilariously pranks Internet scammer

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By now, trolling an internet scammer has almost become a rite of passage, but when it’s done well, it can still be bloody enjoyable to see someone who so thoroughly deserves it have the piss ripped out of them. Which ...

Chinese company builds 350ft tall waterfall on the side of a skyscraper

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When you’re trying to spruce up your humble abode, there’s nothing quite as eye-catching and dramatic as a lovely water feature to really give it some panache. The folks in charge of aesthetics at the Liebian Building...

Wild road rage brawl in the middle of the street ends with car-smash finishing move

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F**K YES, ladies and wankers, it is once again fight night, and I am f**ken excited. I’m like a dingo with two dicks, I’m like a crocodile with two cocks, I’m like a bloody buffalo with two blue-veined custard chucker...

J Lo is f*cken ripped and kickin’ back at 49 years of age

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Good old Jennifer Lopez, the woman we all know as Jenny From The Block, was a big deal in the early 2000s. She was one of the most famous singers in the world, she starred in movies, and she was totally from the block...

Seven month old baby has amassed 40,000 Instagram fans for her mop of hair

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Most little blokes and blokettes are lucky to be born with even a few strands of hair. We usually come out of the baby cannon bald and gooey. Usually. Every now and then, nature will throw up a genetic variation. And ...

Big F*ck Off Alligator casually strolls across golf course

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You know we bloody well love our crocodiliacs here in Ozzyland, and why wouldn’t we? We are, after all, home to some of the biggest and nastiest specimens on the planet. That’s not to say we’re the only ones though. T...

Thousands sign up to drink red liquid from 2000-year-old box found in Alexandria

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Unless you’ve been living inside a stone coffin under several tonnes of rock, you’ve probably heard about the giant f**ken sarcophagus they found in Egypt a week or so ago. If you know what I’m talking about, you prob...