Chuck Steinway

Chuck, not his real name, is a Brisbane writer and teacher. He writes radio commercials, feature articles, short stories and longer-form fiction. You can read his fiction in Dark Moon Digest 32/33 from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. It's got crocodiles! http://perpetualpublishing.com/product/dark-moon-digest-issue-32-33/

Billionaire dies during penis enlargement surgery

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This is gonna sound a bit grim, but that’s all right, because we don’t actually mean it to and it’ll all make sense in just a second. Here goes: have you ever considered where you’d like to die? At home in your bed se...

You’ve been eating pineapple wrong your whole life

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Pineapple has become one of those weirdly controversial topics in recent years. As you know, there’s great debate as to whether you put it on your pizza or whether you don’t. In the past, it’s been famous for being th...

Son bloody drops bloke pestering his sick mum

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We’re not the sort of blokes who advocate for violence here at Ozzy Man Reviews, but if there’s one time you just don’t have a choice, it’s when someone’s disrespecting your mother. Yeah, nah, when that s**t happens, ...

Bloke goes around calling teachers by their first name and filming their reaction

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Bloody high school was an interesting time wasn’t it? While you were going through your own personal puberty, awkward phase and journey of self-discovery, you also had to interact with a bunch of adults you barely kne...

This plumber charged $230,000 for a blocked toilet

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If you own your own place, the chances are that sooner or later you’re going to need to get a tradie in to complete some sort of work. And, yeah, we know, it’s a home reno generation and everyone thinks they can handl...

Bloke discovers dead eagle with tracking device, turns out it travelled everywhere

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F**ken eagles are majestic bloody beasts. While the lion rules the land as the king of the jungle, we’re pretty bloody certain that eagles are the kings of the sky. They’re big apex predators and they’re instantly rec...

Drunk captain smashes cargo ship into South Korean bridge

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Does anyone else remember the sequel to the Speed movie, Speed 2? We do, and if you’re wondering how they managed to top the legendary first movie, it was simple. Speed, but on a ship and with added Willem Defoe. Anyw...

Image of Jesus appear in the f***en sky of Italy

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If there’s one thing we definitely know about Jesus, it’s that he bloody loves Italy. His chosen dude, the Pope lives there, and there’s tonnes of other cool Jesus stuff there to boot. You’ve got the Vatican, you’ve g...

Construction worker bloody schools sheila who assumed he was uneducated

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One of the sad facts of life is that some people will always find a reason to judge others and act like they’re superior to other people by simple virtue of income, education or postcode. Obviously, the smartest of yo...

Watch this f**k-off big spider drag an opossum to its lair

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By this stage, we’re all aware that the deadly predatory instincts of spiders aren’t limited solely to catching s**t in webs. We all know that the little pricks can actually get pretty f**ken big and that some of the ...

A bunch of genius ideas that should be f***en mandated everywhere!

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Have a look around your bloody room right now and you’ll probably see tonnes of items. Me for example, I’m looking at pens, book-holders, lamps with bendy stems and tonnes of other things. Now, the reason I’m telling ...

Archaelogists find 1800 year old wall carvings of cock and balls

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All right, fellas, own up. Who’s drawn a bloody d**k and balls somewhere in recent memory? It’s always a bloody laugh to draw a random meat snorkel somewhere in a mate’s notepad, or to change their desktop background,...

Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge theme park looks f***en outrageously good

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There are two types of people on this planet: those who reckon Star Wars is the f**ken s**t and those who are wrong. And really, whether you’re a fan or not, you can’t argue with the sheer impact it’s had on our cultu...

Sheila demands resume from prospective dates, bloke nails it

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As we’ve alluded to a few times now, the online dating pool is basically a bacteria-ridden pit of douchebags, psychos, crazy chicks and weirdos. Anyone left trying to seriously navigate it needs a bloody good system i...

The truth about this bloody “Momo challenge” is actually more disturbing than you think

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By this stage, every one of you has probably heard about the latest viral threat to the lives of children, the Momo Challenge. It’s the one where a freaky looking sheila appears on the screen of various media and talk...