Chuck Steinway

Chuck, not his real name, is a Brisbane writer and teacher. He writes radio commercials, feature articles, short stories and longer-form fiction. You can read his fiction in Dark Moon Digest 32/33 from Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing. It's got crocodiles! http://perpetualpublishing.com/product/dark-moon-digest-issue-32-33/

Poor bloke on blood thinners had a heart attack and “coughed up a lung”

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You’ve probably heard the saying ‘coughing up a lung’. It’s a pretty common turn of phrase that’s used all around the world. It is, of course, a figurative phrase because you can’t literally cough one up. Yeah, nah, t...

Check out these sh*t-hot parenting hacks!

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Depending on who you ask, bloody parenting can be hard yakka. There’s no doubt that it’s a task full of spewing kids, sh*tty nappies, angry tanties, and lots of tears. Still, despite all that, some parents just make t...

Disabling one gene will let you eat as much as you want without becoming fat

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With the Christmas season coming up, you might be thinking about all the top-notch food you’re gonna f**ken smash while trying to ignore the reality that if you’re not smart about it, you’re probably gonna whack on a ...

Australia has cut its plastic bag use by 80% in just three f*cken months

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Snakes, spiders, crocodiles and serial killers might all still be on the loose here in Ozzy Land, but you’d better believe we’ve done our bit in making sure the biggest killer of them all – the dastardly plastic bag –...

HBO drop the first Game Of Thrones trailer for season 8

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G’day, ya big bloody dickheads, we hope you’re feeling pumped, because we sure as hell are. That’s because it gives us great pleasure to ask you one simple question: have ya seen the teaser trailer for the new season ...

Some of the best life hacks that’ll change ya f*cken mind

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Life-hacks aren’t exactly a rarity on the internet, and we’re not adverse to sharing ‘em whenever we get a chance. After all, life here in Ozzyland is all about being a laid-back c**t, and we love to make stuff easy f...

Doctors warn of severe health dangers in new ‘peegasm’ trend

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G’day cobbers, how the f**k are ya today? Before we begin, do any of you pricks need to use the bathroom? Hang on, who are we kidding – most of you are probably reading this on the sh**ter right now aren’t you? Anyway...

American couple narrowly escapes machete-wielding bandits in Kenya

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Life. It’s an interesting beast isn’t it? One minute you can be joyfully living your life in the US and the next you can be opening up a gym in Nairobi and getting to know the locals. Sweeping changes like this often ...

Bloke responds to his own Police wanted post on Facebook and it’s f*cken gold

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I’m pretty sure you know that scene in any crime movie where a wanted criminal sees their mugshot on television and fears the people around them will recognise them and out them to the authorities. Well, that’s not al...

New Indian superhero movie “2.0” is as crazy as it f*cken looks

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Thanks to the likes of the irrepressible Stan Lee – and may he rest in peace – we’re pretty used to Superhero movies these days. There always seems to be a new one at the cinema, and so long as they’re not made by DC,...

Drunk bloke lets “ninja” slice sausage in his mouth with sword, backfires terribly

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Whether they’re big into medieval history, total Game of Thrones-loving nerds, or just flat out bogans with a collection of samurai swords hanging on their bedroom walls, people everywhere seem to love swords. There’s...

Beijing is trying to rid city of Chinglish before 2022 Winter Olympics

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One of the greatest things about the language gap between China and the English-speaking world is the comedy generated by mistranslation. We’re all – as denizens of the internet – familiar with the old cliché of the t...

US bloke erects middle finger statue and points it directly at the local Council

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There’s really not too many bits of simple sign language as iconic and universal as the old middle-finger salute. Deadset, even the bloody Romans loved to flip the Digitus Impudicus at anyone deserving of it. It’s a b...

Flat Earther promises to pay $100,000 to anyone who proves Earth is round, instantly regrets it

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Here at Ozzy Man Reviews, we  f**ken love flat-earthers. Before you go thinking we agree with the crazy b*stards though, let us explain, because, er, yeah, f**en nah, we think they’re full of sh*t too. It’s just that ...

Wide Neck guy meets Long Neck guy

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These days, the very nature of the internet means that it’s perhaps easier than ever for people to get their fifteen minutes of fame. However, the payoff there is that the very thing people get famous for might not be...