Guy Sets Up GoFundMe For Damages Caused By Tinder Date’s Horror Toilet Accident
Every now and then the news sees fit to drop the kind of story that melts hearts, that touches souls, that changes lives. This… this, is not that kind of story.
Nope, this is a story about a Tinder date gone awry.
In this mint story from over in Pommyland, our two star-crossed lovers went for a romantic Nandos before heading back to the gentleman’s house for Netflix and chill. That’s where our lovely young damsel found herself in deep sh*t.
About an hour into a Louis Theroux documentary about Scientology, the lady in question nicked off to lay some cable, to drop the kids off, to take a cheeky dump.
Now, I don’t know about you, but backing one out on a first date seems pretty bloody brave to me. I know I certainly wouldn’t want to be doing it, but if you’re caught short and nature calls I guess you don’t have much choice. All I can assume is that it must have been a spicy Nandos.
Of course, in the way of all great faeces farces, the unfortunate young lady soon realises that she’s clogged the toilet. Geez. Talk about awkward. Thankfully a situation like this can’t get any worse, so the two went back to the Louis Theroux documentary and forgot about the whole thing.
Except they didn’t. Yep, the situation could – and did – get worse. Way bloody worse, in fact.
Liam Smyth, the lucky young suitor told the Daily Mail that after his date owned up to blocking the toilet she told him, “I don’t know why I did this, but I panicked. I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window.” I hope she washed her hands.
The blind panic behind this though! Can you imagine what’s going through the poor dear’s head? Oh no, I really like this guy, he’s kinda cute, he likes Louis Theroux so he’s clearly an all right fella, I don’t want to spoil it; what do I do? The whole time, the giant floater is just there, bobbing on the top of the water like a rubber duck and eventually she thinks, f*** it. I’ll throw it out the window! He’ll never know!
And then Liam drops a bomb of his own. The window doesn’t open onto the garden. It only opens onto another window, meaning his date’s fresh turd is now stuck between two panes of glass, stinking up the joint, on display to anyone who passes by.
After convincing Liam she was an amateur gymnast and would be able to get it out of the gap, she promptly found herself in destination f*cked. Legs up, face down, inches away from her own poo, the poor lass was wedged tighter than a finger in a bum.
Young Liam was unable to rescue his damsel in distress and, in a scene reminiscent of American Pie, had to call the Fire Brigade to get her out of trouble. In the process of saving her, the Fire Brigade had to damage the wall and window, costing Liam a big repair bill.
Fortunately for him a GoFundMe campaign has quickly raised the funds to repair the damage and even more fortunately for us he took photos and put them online.
Kids, remember to use the loo before your date. It might save you a whole lot of embarrassment.
H/T: Daily Mail.