Mysterious Eyeless Sea Creature With Razor Sharp Teeth Washes Up After Hurricane Harvey

Mysterious Eyeless Sea Creature With Razor Sharp Teeth Washes Up After Hurricane Harvey

The deep, deep ocean; some wankers think it’s beautiful, some wankers think it’s horrifying, some wankers think it’s the last unexplored frontier of our existence. To an extent all of these wankers are right. We’ve got a rough idea of what’s down there: mostly freaky looking predators that look like the kind of thing you’d see in bad Call of Cthulhu fan fiction, but we don’t really know in any detail.

Of course, we do sometimes get some partially decomposed horror thrown up on our beaches after a big bloody storm. And that’s exactly what’s happened in the wake of Hurricane Harvey.

Have a geez at this bloody thing!

Credit: Preeti Desai

Credit: Preeti Desai

I mentioned bad Call of Cthulhu fiction before; well, this creepy little bugger looks like the kind of creature one of Lovecraft’s deep ones would keep as a pet. No eyes, razor sharp teeth, rictus snarl and a long cylindrical body that makes it look like a cross between a sea serpent and Ursula the sea-witch’s dildo.

Does Ursula the sea-witch need lube or does the slime on this thing do the job?  Credit: Preeti Desai

Does Ursula the sea-witch need lube or does the slime on this thing do the job? Credit: Preeti Desai

Preeti Desai of the National Audoban Society, a US group dedicated to the conservation of birds and healthy ecosystems, found the aquatic nightmare washed up on a Texas City Beach after Hurricane Harvey.

With absolutely no idea what it was, she emptied the brown stuff that had filled her pants and took to Twitter to get help identifying the monster from biologists, scientists and cultists of the deep one, Dagon.

Credit: Preeti Desai

Credit: Preeti Desai

Most of the blokes and blokettes who looked at it thought it must be some kind of eel. Young Preeti Desai said, ‘F*** yes, it must be,’ and slapped herself in the forehead. One of the blokes who reckons he knows what it is works at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History.  This cobber, Dr. Kenneth Tighe reckons it’s a tusky eel. Apparently they live in the waters of the Gulf of Mexico.

Credit: Preeti Desai

Credit: Preeti Desai

Whether it is or not, who really knows. The point is that the deep sea is still full of mysteries and scary looking little b*****ds with teeth that’ll rip your dick off. Probably a good reason to stay away!

H/T: Daily Mail.