Bloke Gets Brutally Friend Zoned During Awkward Kiss Cam Segment
We all know that guys are supposed to be tough. We know they’re supposed to be able to brush off emotion as weak-as-piss. We know they’re supposed to see pain as only something that’ll pass like a mild bout of the runs and something that should be just as respected.
Of course, anyone who believes that to be true has never seen a bloke reeling in the throes of rejection left behind by the realisation he’s just been friend zoned.
So, if you are one of those people who has never vicariously experienced a bloke having his heart ripped out, all you need to do is watch today’s video – or the new internet remix of it – and hey presto, you now know exactly what it’s like.
As an aside, if you’re a fan of the Simpsons, you probably remember the classic episode where Ralph Wiggum choo-choo-chooses Lisa to be his valentine. This isn’t quite as brutal as that, but it’s basically the same.
You can imagine him sitting there at the basketball with his hot date. He’d be stoked over the fact his mates all think he’s punching above his weight (come to think of it, he does look a bit like Ralph Wiggum) and he’d be trying to orchestrate an opportune moment to steal his kiss.
And then the kiss-cam hits. It’d be like a dream come true for him. No need for hard work, no need to play Endless Love while you bet her she can’t shoot a hoop, just let the kiss-cam work its magic and the job’s a good’un.
But no. He leans in and she says something no doubt patronising. She gives him that close-mouth peck that means, Yeah, I like you as a friend, but no more than that. You could pretty much put your jacket in a puddle so I don’t get my feet wet and you’d still never get in my pants.
Sorry dude. We feel for you, but you’re a bloke. Just pretend it doesn’t hurt. Brush your feelings off and start again. You’ll be fine.
Video’s here. Watch this, blokes and blokettes, you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half.
Oh, and this one…
H/T: Today’s Dot.