Photographer captures crocodile tussling with a deadly viper in epic battle in Sri Lanka
In today’s Wrassling Reptile Report, we’ve got the match report for the latest contest in the Reptilian division. Fighting to the death in Sri Lanka’s Yala National Park, we’ve got a bona fide rumble in the jungle here. Representing the order Squamata, we’ve got Barry the Russell’s viper. His opponent today is Gonzales, the unspecified crocodiliac!
In the lead-up to the fight, there was some speculation that Barry, with his lethal as f**k venom, could prove something of a dark horse. Him and his Russell’s viper brethren are responsible for more snake bites and deaths than any other species. Apparently, Russell – the bloke who owns them all – is a real c-nut and does nothing to stop this! Boooo!!!!! Hisssss!!!
Opposing Barry, Gonzales the unidentified crocodile wasn’t worried about Steve and his reputation for biting anyone and everyone. In fact, at the pre-match weigh-in, he even threatened to eat Barry’s children and mocked him for being a no-legged symbol of evil across the world.
As you can tell, the stage was set for a showdown of epic proportions. When the bell rang, Gonzales the crocodile went to f**ken town on Barry. He took the slippery little shit in his mouth and broke down the scientific theory behind a solid arse kicking.
He led with a f**ken Irish whip, and set an early marker for his domination of the contest with a gigantic suplex. By this stage, Barry was thinking, yeah-nah, f**k this sh*t. The scales were too far in Gonzales’ favour. The ensuing rounds can best be summed up like this: f**ken bodyslam, DDT, backbreaker, Stone Cold Stunner, dead.
Yeah, despite the initial “F**k you,” “Nah f**k you,” these two predators entered into, Barry didn’t stand a chance.
Final thought: before the advent of camera phones, who would have thought that all creatures great and small were such a violent bunch of f**kwits. Deadset, there’s more fighting in the animal kingdom than there is in an episode of Monday Night Raw. F**ken whatever though, animals. Keep it up. We love it.
H/T: Daily Mail.