Bloke reported by woman as burglar turns out to be lazy husband
Those of you who are married or partnered up will know how hard it can be to find somewhere between 5 minutes and 8 hours of free time to play video games. For reasons that are hard to discern, some wives just don’t like their husbands to sit around and play them all day. So when this Chinese bloke took a sickie on a day he expected the missus to be at work, he was probably pretty surprised when the cops rocked up…
This is the kind of story that’s probably gonna split the blokes and the sheilas right down the middle. It begins when a Chinese bloke – who I thought I could call Bruce for comedic effect (until I found out his name was Mr Ding) – concocted the ‘perfect’ plan. Poor old Mr Ding hadn’t been able to play his video games for a while, so, with his thumbs longing for some action, he decided he’d chuck a sickie and play when his wife went out for the day.
Mrs Ding – who actually goes by the name Mrs Li (for reasons to do with culture that I’m not gonna put sh*t on) – ducked out to take the little Ding to school. The big Ding, who’d presumably gotten dressed for work – with no intention of going – locked the door behind her and loaded up the SNES.
He’d just reached the part of Castlevania where the dude says, “What a horrible night to have a curse,” when she came home. (Please note, this may or may not be bullsh*t.) Of course, Mrs Li was bloody terrified. She could hear noises in the house, and she responded by doing the sensible thing. She called the cops.
The results are here for you to see in the video, and when you see his chosen course of action to the sounds of his wife coming home, you’re probably gonna piss yourself. Me though, I’m gonna move on. All I wanna know is, is anyone else thinking it might not have been ‘video games’ Mr Ding was beating?
Final thought: Aside from being bloody hilarious, this story begs some obvious questions: Why didn’t Mr Ding answer the door when he heard the wife get home, and was a closet really the smart choice? What would he have done if she stayed home all day? And where did he think she was? Was she wagging work? Where was she supposed to be? So many questions, so few answers. Hit up the Facebook comments with your own ridiculous suppositions…
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H/T: Daily Mail.