Penelope "Joey" Townes

Surgeons Removed This From A Man Who Had Been Constipated For Years

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Surgeons in China have performed lifesaving surgery on a 22 year old man with what must be one of the largest bowel obstructions ever. The surgeons removed 30 inches of colon in a three-hour operation. The portion of ...

Douchebag of the Century Attacks 91 Year Old Man, Bystanders Respond

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I know we’re only 17 years into this century, but I’m pretty sure we can just crown this guy now. This d!ckhead is officially the douche of the century. This waste of oxygen is walking down the street wearing wank...

Huge Australian Spider Caught Dragging A Mouse Up A Fridge

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Just when you thought you had seen the worst of Australian wildlife, a video emerges that shakes you to the core of your meat-pie eating, VB drinking soul. This isn’t just any video though. This is a motherflipping...

Man Gets Bowling Ball Sized Lipoma Removed By Dr Pimple Popper

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Dr Sandra Lee has just removed her biggest lipoma to date and it's as graphic as you would expect. Dr Sandra Lee, otherwise known as Dr Pimple Popper shot to fame on youtube but also makes appearances on the tv show T...

Here’s Why Statues Always Have Tiny D*cks

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So apparently we now how the definitive truth on why statues have tiny willies. According to the website ‘How to talk about Art History’, it’s because ginormous peens were regarded as signs of “foolishness, lust and u...

The Rock Has Teased A Possible Career Change That Has Everyone Shocked

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In an article with GQ’s Caity Weaver, Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson has confirmed that running for President of the United States of America is a distinct possibility. I would have said that we’re all just about done with...

The Kloons Invent The Sex Machine For When You Just Can’t Be F*cked to F*ck

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YouTube channel The Kloons have dreamed up a product, mainly in the interests of comedy, for people who just can’t summon up the energy to get jiggy with it. Their video, called the Lazy Lover, presents a boinking ...

HBO Has Announced The Possibility Of FOUR New Game Of Thrones Spin-offs

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Game of Thrones fans can breathe a big sigh of relief today, with the news that HBO have commissioned four different writers to explore the possibility of GoT spin-off shows. These will supposedly explore different...

Here’s What Happens When You Put 20kg Of Red Hot Steel In A Frozen Lake

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These insane Finnish motherflippers have too much time on their hands. Evidently their sauna was broken and the reindeer had already been fed, so the next logical step is what metal can I heat to oblivion and what lak...

Ja Rule’s Fyre Music Festival Promised An Ultra Luxury Experience, The Result Was A Disaster

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Just when you thought music festivals couldn’t go downhill faster, Fyre Festival just took the cake. Advertised by Instagram models and “influencers”, whatever the heck that means, Fyre Festival was set to be the luxu...

Two Guys Put A F*cken Chainsaw Motor On A Trike!

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Two dudes from Georgia Tech have upped the bar for uni hijinks and have created a chainsaw motor powered trike for cruising around campus. Although trikes are normally reserved for kids who haven’t yet learned to sh!t...

Rude Today Show Host Can’t Stand Her Guest, Guest Responds

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Viewers of the Today Show were stunned with host Kathie Lee Gifford’s treatment of Bill Nye, the Science Guy, during a segment celebrating Earth Day. Bill Nye was in the studio to help explain answers to quiz q...